Every week, a new trend emerges on TikTok, but few have sparked as much curiosity as the 'Bird Theory'. Recently, users have been gauging their partners' reactions by stating, 'I saw a bird today.' Although it may seem like an ordinary sentence at first glance, it is actually based on a scientific method testing relationship dynamics.
Let's delve into the meaning behind this trend that has captivated millions of couples together.
Contrary to what its name might suggest, the Bird Theory isn't actually about birds. This concept was introduced in 2023 by a TikTok user named Alyssa, serving as a tool to gauge the level of attention couples pay to each other. The test is straightforward: one partner simply says, 'I saw a bird today,' and the reaction of the other is observed. If the partner is truly listening and shows interest, they pass the test. However, a lack of response is taken as a sign of disconnection in the relationship.
The origins of this test can be traced back to a study conducted by Dr. John Gottman in the 1990s. Gottman and his team discovered that the foundation of long-term relationships lies in what they termed as 'bids' - those small moments when one partner says, 'Lend me your ear...'
In successful relationships, these bids are met with active interest. The Bird Theory on TikTok is essentially putting this principle to the test.
In some videos, the partner immediately engages, asking questions like 'What kind of bird was it?' or 'Where did you see it?', while others completely dismiss the topic.
Videos shared under the 'birdtheory' hashtag on TikTok have reached millions of views. Users are discussing the balance of their relationships by analyzing their partners' reactions. While some perceive this test as a sweet game, others become aware of the lack of communication in their relationship.
According to research conducted by the Gottman Institute, in healthy relationships, partners are attentive to these subtle signals from each other. This state of 'turning towards' is one of the strongest indicators of long-term happiness.
This is precisely what the test on TikTok reflects. If a partner asks 'What bird was it?' or engages in the story, it is considered a sign of robust relationship dynamics. However, if the other party seems indifferent or cold, it is taken as a sign of emotional disconnection.