It's Not As Easy As You Think: 15 Facts About Being A "Centaur"

Mr. Peppermint
Onedio Editor
0

Centaur is a mythological creature with the upper body of a human and the lower body of a horse. They're always portrayed in movies or books as wise, kind and strong creatures with their six-pack absi making most people think it must be awesome to be a centaur. But is it? Let's objectively think together about what it's like to be a Centaur...

1. Problems start for a centaur even when it's a baby. While they were not even able keep their human-neck upright, their horse parts start walking within an hour after birth.

2. Like any other mammals, baby centaurs need to be breastfed. But how? From human breasts or horse breasts of the mother? Or from both for different parts of baby's body?

3. Children are picky eaters so just imagine having a centaur kid: You need to know not only the human food they would like but also the right horse food.

4. And I am not even talking about their toilet training.

5. Or let's talk about it. Just imagine half human baby centaurs defecating around like horses.

6. Sleeping is another issue, did you ever think how centaurs sleep?

7. And being unable to perform your own personal care and dependant on others for grooming your horse body.

8. Not having a proper life at home. It must be awful not to be able to use almost any human stuff.

9. Except the kissing part, their sexual life is technically all about mating!

10. You always have to walk around naked. Have you ever seen a centaur wearing a shirt or pants?

11. Although centaur body is always depicted muscular and in perfect shape, being an overweight centaur must really suck!

12. A centaur is doomed to be a warrior. There is almost no office career for them.

13. "It's late for subway, can you give us a ride centaur?" "We will move our house this Sunday, could you help us centaur?" "This little guy wants to ride you, can you let him get on you for a few mins?"

14. 4 legs, 2 arms and 1 tail; they must be used in a harmony, taken good care, periodically horseshoed etc...

15. And you know what fate awaits you, in case you ever break your leg