Often when we think of love in our culture, we think of sex, sweaty bodies joined together, electric touch, or pillow talk--two lovers basking in the afterglow, surging with oxytocin. Many of us will spend our lives chasing that feeling, struggling to find someone that makes us feel that way for the rest of our lives. We move from one relationship to another, running at the first sign of trouble. Everything needs to be seamless, and they need to have all of the right qualities. Too many turnoffs, and it's not worth our time.
In sickness and in health are old terms used by a failing institution. We don't want to stick around and let someone ruin our lives. We feel no responsibility to do so. There's no stigma against divorce or breakups. Why be with someone when they're stuck in chemotherapy? Don't we have needs? What if the magic is gone and we're no longer attracted to them? Trade them in for someone younger. Kick them to the curb, never mind what they want. We matter too.
But love isn't a feeling. It's not an orgasm every night and the perfect conversation every time you're together. We can't constantly sync up with the one that we care about. That will never happen. Anyone who thinks otherwise is chasing a dream. True love takes work, and it doesn't fade because your spouse gained ten pounds or injured themselves. It about building something together, a life, a family, and success, and having a hand to hold in your last moments. There's nothing more rewarding than sharing your life with somebody.